Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Closer, Cold Desert Is Now Complete

I actually expected to have this up the day after I posted the final epi, but I underestimated the amount of promo the dude's in for Breaking Dawn. Then all hell broke loose post-premiere with videos and interviews and other media forms that had the fangirls squeeing.

C, CD's done. That's it. No more Jackris. I'm feeling the tiniest bit of emotion that it's over, but, for the most part, it's a big relief. This story wasn't meant to be this long, and it definitely shouldn't have gone on as long as it did. I originally estimated it to be 15 chapters, give or a take a couple, and I thought I would have it all done within 6 months. 30 chapters, 2 epilogues, 30 Jackson POVS, 3 outtakes, approximately 1,000 reviews later (including Twilighted), and 2 years. Yep, I'm spent.

With that being said, there are a few people I have to acknowledge:

Juanita: I told this bitch about the dreams I had, and she convinced me to turn it into a fic. That fic was C, CD. I had no idea what in the HELL I was getting myself into when I gave in. But she's been there to pre-read every chappy and lovingly nag me about getting the next chapter out when I decided to lounge and be lazy. She's awesome.

Suzy: She started off reading C, CD and then stopped, because it "weirded" her out. It may have also had something to do with the fact that she thinks I didn't write her accurately. Don't let her fool you, folks! The Suzy I wrote is the same Suzy I've loved and tolerated for the past 8 years of my life. That's my Suzy, and I'm sticking to it.

K, M, and L: For a long while, I considered these girls my best friends. We went through some fun times, as well as some serious RL shit. Some of us were authors while others of us were readers. Either way, we were friends. That, however is no longer. But, in the off chance they come across this, I want them to know some things... Despite the fact that you would gladly send me flying down a flight of stairs just to hear my bones break, I sometimes miss you, believe it or not. Despite the things you've said and done, you were special to me. Especially you, K. I thought of you as my English sister. Things went south for the stupidest of reasons, and then you became someone I didn't know you were capable of being. I didn't recognize you. I still miss the girl who used "Donut" instead of "Do not." I miss telling you about getting in trouble for blasting SN throughout the house. And knocking over my mom's furniture cuz I was twirling with scarves. So... Yeah. There's that. Either way, you three were key factors during this story, and I just wanted to thank you for that time and help you provided. I also wanted to thank you for the friendship we had. It may not have meant much to you then or mean much to you now, but it did/does/will mean a great deal to me.

Summer: You were there from the beginning and stuck with me during and after the fallout. I'll forever cherish the chair you saved for me during Comic Con. I should've never left my seat to go to the bathroom. I would've been able to join you for the Scott Pilgrim screening. But, if I have to steal a baby and sell it, I'll find a way to finance my way back to Comic Con. Cuz there's nobody I'd rather give me a "Are you fucking kidding me?" look when it comes to the possible change of your CC schedule.

Ze Lovely Readers: Some of you have been here since the beginning. Some of you joined later. A bunch of you have flounced. Regardless, the tweets and reviews were, and still are, for the most part, very sweet and amazing. I know I I dropped the ball on updating for a good while, and I'm sorry about that. There were a number of reasons, but real life got in the way a lot of the time.

Q. Will I write another fic?
A. Yes. If you look over the blog, there are tabs with fic title names. I have a general idea of what they are going to be, but I don't know when I'll get around to writing them. I have a couple of other plot bunnies invading my head, so those are on the back burner. I do have tentative outlines for them, though.

Q. Will I write another Jackson RPF?
A. No. I always said that this would be my only RPF, and I meant that. Honestly, I have no desire to write anything about him anymore which is why I was so eager to have this story done and overwith. More about that later.

Q. Am I taking on new beta jobs?
A. Not right now. I'm still betaing "With The Lights Out" for cherry_blossomz and editing a book for a well-known E/B writer *squee!* Plus, I've also been asked to pre-read the novel of a VERY well-known and respected author in the fandom. *double squee!* Between those three, the new story I have in my head, and running JRFB, I don't have the time. If you have a story you need betad, feel free to shoot it my way, and I'll do my best to find someone for you. :)

Confession: My lack of updates for the last few chapters and the epis were because 1. I didn't have the time, and 2. I'm just not into Jackson "that way" anymore. I think I got too immersed in the Jackson/Monkeys world and have come out jaded. There's always so much drama. If it's not one thing, it's another. I'm sick of the constant fighting, the name-calling, the back-stabbing... It's all just too much. While I still adore the Bone for the work he does, the music he makes with the band, and the genuine smile he doesn't use as often as he should, I don't have that giddy, schoolgirl crush thing for him anymore. And, no, this does not have to do with the recent development in his private life. For me, the lack of interest started happening, ironically, right after their latest concerts in NYC this past summer. It was eye-opening to see things going on, and the veil was lifted. I learned a lot about people and this fandom because of those two shows. To me, it's just not worth it to have that celebrity crush on him when it comes with the amount of hatred and negativity the Monkeyverse is capable of dishing out. With that being said, JRFB is a labor of love, and I will continue to own and run that puppy cuz it's my baby. I've worked too hard on it to just give up. :)

I debated with myself as to whether I should throw this little bit in there, but you guys know that I hold nothing back, so... I was originally going to write a surprise outtake that bridged the gap between Epi 1 and Epi 2. It was going to include some desk sex and the actual proposal. I wrote the first couple thousand words for it but stopped all together when I received a review that stated that C, CD's ending was cliche. I know that everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, but that doesn't make the sting hurt any less. I basically took that review as a sign that what's done is done, and I clicked "Complete" on all 3 C, CD entries on FFn. I started writing C, CD for me, but, somewhere along the line, I started writing for everyone else. If the readers don't want it, then there's no point in writing it.

*Holy Toledo, Ohio. "Cold Desert" by Kings of Leon just came on my iTunes. o.O*

So, this is me signing off for C, CD. Thank you to each and every one of you who read, reviewed, retweeted, recommended, said good things, said bad things, like me, love me, hate me, and everything in between. Writing this story and becoming emotionally attached to it were both surprises, but, in the end, even with all of the negativity, I can say that it's a great part of me. I wish I could tell you guys how much I love and appreciate you, but words fail me.

Con Amor Siempre,