Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Closer, Cold Desert Is Now Complete

I actually expected to have this up the day after I posted the final epi, but I underestimated the amount of promo the dude's in for Breaking Dawn. Then all hell broke loose post-premiere with videos and interviews and other media forms that had the fangirls squeeing.

C, CD's done. That's it. No more Jackris. I'm feeling the tiniest bit of emotion that it's over, but, for the most part, it's a big relief. This story wasn't meant to be this long, and it definitely shouldn't have gone on as long as it did. I originally estimated it to be 15 chapters, give or a take a couple, and I thought I would have it all done within 6 months. 30 chapters, 2 epilogues, 30 Jackson POVS, 3 outtakes, approximately 1,000 reviews later (including Twilighted), and 2 years. Yep, I'm spent.

With that being said, there are a few people I have to acknowledge:

Juanita: I told this bitch about the dreams I had, and she convinced me to turn it into a fic. That fic was C, CD. I had no idea what in the HELL I was getting myself into when I gave in. But she's been there to pre-read every chappy and lovingly nag me about getting the next chapter out when I decided to lounge and be lazy. She's awesome.

Suzy: She started off reading C, CD and then stopped, because it "weirded" her out. It may have also had something to do with the fact that she thinks I didn't write her accurately. Don't let her fool you, folks! The Suzy I wrote is the same Suzy I've loved and tolerated for the past 8 years of my life. That's my Suzy, and I'm sticking to it.

K, M, and L: For a long while, I considered these girls my best friends. We went through some fun times, as well as some serious RL shit. Some of us were authors while others of us were readers. Either way, we were friends. That, however is no longer. But, in the off chance they come across this, I want them to know some things... Despite the fact that you would gladly send me flying down a flight of stairs just to hear my bones break, I sometimes miss you, believe it or not. Despite the things you've said and done, you were special to me. Especially you, K. I thought of you as my English sister. Things went south for the stupidest of reasons, and then you became someone I didn't know you were capable of being. I didn't recognize you. I still miss the girl who used "Donut" instead of "Do not." I miss telling you about getting in trouble for blasting SN throughout the house. And knocking over my mom's furniture cuz I was twirling with scarves. So... Yeah. There's that. Either way, you three were key factors during this story, and I just wanted to thank you for that time and help you provided. I also wanted to thank you for the friendship we had. It may not have meant much to you then or mean much to you now, but it did/does/will mean a great deal to me.

Summer: You were there from the beginning and stuck with me during and after the fallout. I'll forever cherish the chair you saved for me during Comic Con. I should've never left my seat to go to the bathroom. I would've been able to join you for the Scott Pilgrim screening. But, if I have to steal a baby and sell it, I'll find a way to finance my way back to Comic Con. Cuz there's nobody I'd rather give me a "Are you fucking kidding me?" look when it comes to the possible change of your CC schedule.

Ze Lovely Readers: Some of you have been here since the beginning. Some of you joined later. A bunch of you have flounced. Regardless, the tweets and reviews were, and still are, for the most part, very sweet and amazing. I know I I dropped the ball on updating for a good while, and I'm sorry about that. There were a number of reasons, but real life got in the way a lot of the time.

Q. Will I write another fic?
A. Yes. If you look over the blog, there are tabs with fic title names. I have a general idea of what they are going to be, but I don't know when I'll get around to writing them. I have a couple of other plot bunnies invading my head, so those are on the back burner. I do have tentative outlines for them, though.

Q. Will I write another Jackson RPF?
A. No. I always said that this would be my only RPF, and I meant that. Honestly, I have no desire to write anything about him anymore which is why I was so eager to have this story done and overwith. More about that later.

Q. Am I taking on new beta jobs?
A. Not right now. I'm still betaing "With The Lights Out" for cherry_blossomz and editing a book for a well-known E/B writer *squee!* Plus, I've also been asked to pre-read the novel of a VERY well-known and respected author in the fandom. *double squee!* Between those three, the new story I have in my head, and running JRFB, I don't have the time. If you have a story you need betad, feel free to shoot it my way, and I'll do my best to find someone for you. :)

Confession: My lack of updates for the last few chapters and the epis were because 1. I didn't have the time, and 2. I'm just not into Jackson "that way" anymore. I think I got too immersed in the Jackson/Monkeys world and have come out jaded. There's always so much drama. If it's not one thing, it's another. I'm sick of the constant fighting, the name-calling, the back-stabbing... It's all just too much. While I still adore the Bone for the work he does, the music he makes with the band, and the genuine smile he doesn't use as often as he should, I don't have that giddy, schoolgirl crush thing for him anymore. And, no, this does not have to do with the recent development in his private life. For me, the lack of interest started happening, ironically, right after their latest concerts in NYC this past summer. It was eye-opening to see things going on, and the veil was lifted. I learned a lot about people and this fandom because of those two shows. To me, it's just not worth it to have that celebrity crush on him when it comes with the amount of hatred and negativity the Monkeyverse is capable of dishing out. With that being said, JRFB is a labor of love, and I will continue to own and run that puppy cuz it's my baby. I've worked too hard on it to just give up. :)

I debated with myself as to whether I should throw this little bit in there, but you guys know that I hold nothing back, so... I was originally going to write a surprise outtake that bridged the gap between Epi 1 and Epi 2. It was going to include some desk sex and the actual proposal. I wrote the first couple thousand words for it but stopped all together when I received a review that stated that C, CD's ending was cliche. I know that everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, but that doesn't make the sting hurt any less. I basically took that review as a sign that what's done is done, and I clicked "Complete" on all 3 C, CD entries on FFn. I started writing C, CD for me, but, somewhere along the line, I started writing for everyone else. If the readers don't want it, then there's no point in writing it.

*Holy Toledo, Ohio. "Cold Desert" by Kings of Leon just came on my iTunes. o.O*

So, this is me signing off for C, CD. Thank you to each and every one of you who read, reviewed, retweeted, recommended, said good things, said bad things, like me, love me, hate me, and everything in between. Writing this story and becoming emotionally attached to it were both surprises, but, in the end, even with all of the negativity, I can say that it's a great part of me. I wish I could tell you guys how much I love and appreciate you, but words fail me.

Con Amor Siempre,

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Proposal That Never Was Extra Goodies

The Tony Rich Project's "Nobody Knows"
Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful Of Sunshine"
Easy A's "Pocketful Of Sunshine" scene
Jojo's "Coming For You"
Iris' dinner dress
Iris' dinner shoes
Adele's "One And Only"
The Wedding Singer's "Grow Old With You"

Edward/Bella Recommendations
Animate Me
Heavy In Your Arms
Lack Of Color
Lust On A Deathbed
Masen Days
My Esteemed Colleague
Sentimental Journey
Unexpected Circumstances

There's a reason why I didn't include a pic of what the engagement ring looked like. I wanted you, as the reader, to imagine it for yourself. Every girl who dreams of getting married already has an idea of what their engagement ring looks like. I want that to be the ring you imagine Jackson giving Iris, because you have images of these characters in your head, so the perfect ring, your ring, should be used. Just for fun, though, THIS is the ring I have in my head.

Just for shits and giggles: Up until about a year ago, I wanted my ring to be bought at Walmart. Classy, I know, but I don't like frilly, expensive things. While I think the idea of an engagement ring is important, I don't believe that anybody should have to take a mortgage out or spend a month's pay on a ring. I've never believed that the more expensive the ring, the more the guy loves you. It's a little selfish, in my opinion.

To answer some questions: I had this dream over two years ago. At the time, obviously, nothing was known about Breaking Dawn. That's why certain things seem a little strange. Peter Jackson was the director for BD in my dream, and I didn't want to change that in the story, because I really did want him to direct. With him as director and WETA backing him, they would've done AMAZING things with Reneesme. Just look at what they did for Gollum. Also, that's why they're shooting in Vancouver on Jackson's birthday instead of Louisiana.

There's probably a bunch of other shit I'm missing, but I'll take another look when I do the Extra Goodies post for Epilogue Part 2. By the way, I have no idea when that'll be ready. I'm working on it now, but I'm going back and forth with the length.

Con Amor Siempre,

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Upcoming Posting Schedule

I'm intently trying to avoid looking at the screen as I type this cuz I kinda feel like judgey eyes are on me when it comes to the fact that I didn't update on Saturday. Still avoiding...

So, here's the deal. Part of the reason I didn't update was because I was in Jersey with The Dream Team getting drunk at Mel and Jason's shower. The other part is that I want to have some sort of chronological order with these last few chapters.

The super embarrassing chapter will update on July 16 (which coincides with the Monkeys concert in NYC I'll be attending). When I say it's embarrassing, I mean it's embarrassing for me now that I think about what's going to be in it, but I figure you guys'll get a kick and a good laugh out of it.

The final five chapters of C, CD in Jackson POV will start updating August 1st. You'll get a chapter ever Monday and Thursday, just like last time, until all five are posted.

Epilogue Part Two will post last. Now, I haven't decided if it will post the 20th or the 27th of August. The reason I'm having this post last is because, obviously, it's the very last part of C, CD. I want to be able to hit the "Complete" button once this update posts. I wouldn't be able to do that if there were any outtakes or other POVs. It wouldn't seem right.

With that being said, there will definitely be no futuretakes or outtakes or sidewaystakes or "Jackson, take me now"s once Epilogue Part Two goes up. That's it. I'm done with this puppy. It will be my one and only RPF. No more smirky dude. I think I've exhausted his character enough. That'swhatshesaid. Besides, I can't hang on to this fic forever. *shrug*

That's all for now. Sorry if the having to wait until the end of August for the story to finally come to a close is an issue, but I'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on with my life right now. I don't know if I'll be homeless in a 3 weeks, so that kinda takes precedent over everything. But I love you all for still sticking it out with me. I know I'm a pain in the ass and not easy to deal with. *snuggle huggle*

Con Amor Siempre,

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Epilogue Part One Follow Up

Wow. OK. Where do I begin?

Um, I guess I should first apologize for taking so long to post this update. I had absolutely NO idea that it would take me this long. I had every intention of updating two weeks after Chapter 30 went up, but then everything started going crazy with moving and JRFB taking up every minute of my days. But when I sat down to actually write the damn thing, a strange thing happened.

I couldn't.

I tried and wrote and erased and tried again. Nothing was coming out right. After the opening of Epilogue Part One (before it skips to April), everything was coming out a bigger mess than usual. I couldn't fucking figure out what the problem was. And then it hit me about a week ago as I was falling asleep (cuz stupid shit like that keeps me up at night). I couldn't write Chapter 31 because there was no Chapter 31 to write.

What I had originally planned for Chapter 31 is actually pretty boring. It started off with the kids talk, then the band's tour, Comic Con, and fast forward to The Southern Swing Tour where Jackson sorta but not really proposes. I say sorta not really, because there was a giant Fruit Loop in place of a ring and Vegas talk in place of a wedding. The "proposal" was something I was actually really excited about writing, though. Everything else I didn't give a shit about. So, that's how we get to the next paragraph...

Confession: What you read for part one of the Epilogue was actually going to be one of the alternate epilogues I mentioned months ago. While the "proposal" would've been nice and all, it wouldn't have been realistic. For all of the reasons Iris mentions in the chapter, there was no way that I could've included a "proposal" and wedding talk and blah blah blah without feeling like the story got away from me.

When Carrie Underwood's "Play" album dropped, I devoured it. When I heard "Someday When I Stop Loving You," I knew that this chapter was going to exist. There was never a doubt in my mind that the events that took place in it would happen. The lyrics of the song were just too perfect.

Now, as far as future posting dates and specific chapters, here's how it's gonna go: The Graupner POV outtake, which includes Jackson cheating, will post on Saturday the 25th. A secret chapter that's going to embarrass the fuck out of me is going to post the following Saturday, July 2nd. Epilogue Part Two will (hopefully) go up on July 9th. The final five chapters of Jackson POV that were submitted will start posting August 1st at the regular posting schedule as the previous Jackson POVs.

After these are finally posted, I'm done with C, CD. It's been almost two years since I started writing this story, and I honestly thought that it would take me three months AT MOST to get what I wanted out for this fic. The fucker, though, took on a life of itself. I am unbelievably grateful that you guys have stuck it out this long. I read a lot of fics, so I know what it's like to have a story take forever to update and just drag on.

So, that's it for now. As always, I'm on Twitter cuz I'm addicted like a crack whore. Hit me up there.

Oh! Just so you know, I will be responding to reviews left. However, because I'm so far behind, I'll only be answering reviews left for Chapter 28, Epilogue Part One, and Epilogue Part Two (when it posts). I feel bad saying that since I had gone into this thing thinking that I would reply to whatever reviews I garnered. So, I'm very sorry about that. It's not this "My ego has gotten big and I can no longer review reply and mingle with the little folk" sort of thing. I promise.

Now I'm done.

Con Amor Siempre,

Epilogue Part One Extra Goodies

Kenny G
Marilyn Manson
Petrificus Totalus
Mr Wizard
The Bee Gees
Dixie Chicks' "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)"
Elton John & RuPaul's "Don't Go Breakin My Heart"
Miley Cyrus' "Party In The USA"
Carrie Underwood's "Someday When I Stop Loving You"
Kellan's Calvin Klein billboard
Robert Pattinson's "Never Think"
Adele's "Someone Like You (Live)"

Edward/Bella Fic Recommendations

Inside Man
Pinky Swear (by the AMAZING Kharizzmatik, author of Emancipation Proclamation)
Portrait Of A Girl
Somewhere Only We Know
The Back Road

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Jackson POV Teasers For Fandom4SAA

So, as you guys know, the final five chapters of Closer, Cold Desert in Jackson's POV will be available through @Fandom4SAA. Here you go:

One line teaser for Chapter 26, Joy Ride Part Two:
I could have her dress up, my pants down, be in and out of her, and ready to go in under three minutes.

One line teaser for Chapter 27, All I Want For Christmas Is You:
But it was the best fucking thing to watch her cum so hard, knowing that I was the one that did that.

One line teaser for Chapter 28, Don't Forget About Us:
“I have no say in anything she does now, Ben. Do you get that? She. Fucking. Left. Me!”

Teaser for Chapter 29, HATEU:
“Jackson, what’s wrong?”

“Mama, I have something to tell you,” I mumbled.

“OK. Go on.”

“I… I cheated on Iris.”

You know those moments when everything just goes really quiet, and it feels like time has slowed down, allowing you to think about what to do next? Nobody ever told me that they also scared the living shit out of you.

All I could hear was Mama’s breathing for a few minutes. I recognized it as that breathing thing she does when she’s trying to calm herself down. I waited. And waited. When I couldn’t wait anymore, I dove in.


“You need to talk to your father,” she immediately said.

Before I could respond, I heard her calling Dad’s name.

Fuck fuck fuck.

“It’s your son,” I heard her say.


“She looks ready to spit nails. What’d you do, kid?” he laughed.

One line teaser for Chapter 30, Love Takes Time:
I know I probably should've told her, but the truth is that I actually didn't forget our anniversary.

I'm not going to include a teaser for this Saturday's update in the compilation. After you read the chapter, you'll understand why.

To get Jackson's POV for these five chapters along with hundreds of other submissions for @Fandom4SAA, go HERE to donate. The minimum is $5, and you'll be helping out a wonderful organization. Every little bit helps. Plus, if I decide to post these Jackson POVs up on FFn, it won't be for another 6 months. *nudge nudge* *wink wink*

Con Amor Siempre,

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Another Update About The End Of C, CD

I know I'm a raging douchebag for not having anything to you by now. I'm dealing with a whole host of problems right now, about as much from the last update, so I'm trying to cope. Anyway, here's the deal:

Since I'm not currently working, I'm going to try and get the final chapter done this week. With any luck, I'll have it posted by NEXT Saturday, the 11th. I need time to research. Plus, I'm also betaing two popular stories right now to add to list of things I worry about. So... I have no idea how long the chapter will be. I know what's going to happen and how the story's going to end, but I don't know how many words it'll take to get it all down.

Since I lost everything when my comp and hard drives crashed, I don't have any of the alternate outtake or the two epis anymore. Even still, they're knocking my brain about. They're pretty much written in my head since they've been in there forever, so I know it won't take me long to get those out to you once the final chapter's posted. And I told Juanita how the story ends and what happens in each epilogue. She almost started crying in the middle of Dallas BBQ in Times Square. She cries at everything, like me, so that's doesn't give you any indication how things are gonna roll. LOL

The final six chapters of C, CD will be available in Jackson's POV for @Fandom4SAA. If you wanna know how shit went down in his mind, including the cheating chapter, and you don't wanna wait six months, this is where you need to go. Donate and you'll get the compilation. GREAT cause.

The phone sex outtake from Chapter 28 will post this Saturday, the 4th. Now, it's probably the most sexually graphic thing I've written, which I know isn't saying much but I thought I'd warn you.

Graupner's POV outtake will post two weeks later, the 18th. I'm very excited for you to read this POV, because it's Graupner, and I had a fucking blast poking around in his head (pun not intended but feel free to go with it if you please). Also, it includes Jackson's cheating. It was... a relief, I guess, to write things out from someone's perspective that wasn't Jackson or Iris. It's hard to explain, but maybe you'll get what I'm saying when you read it.

And that's it. I'll see you guys on Twitter. <3

Con Amor Siempre,

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A Notice About The Completion Of C, CD

OK,I know that I should probably have Chapter 31 up by now. The fact that I don't even have the Follow Up blog post for Chapter 30 posted yet tells you something about the chaotic hell that is my life right now.

My external hard drive crashed. It had everything on there. EVERYTHING! I'm talking every last picture and video for JRFB, every chapter of C, CD, JPOV, every outtake, the alternative ending, the two epis, and my entire iTunes library. I basically have to rewrite everything I had already written and re-download everything I've ever downloaded.. FML

The external hard drive I bought to replace the original also crashed. At least I only had half of what I lost from JRFB and the alternate ending on there.

My computer. Fucking. Crashed. I wish I was joking, but I'm not. I had to out on Saturday at 8 in the freckin morning to buy a laptop. But I'm glad I did, though. Her name is Weiss, and she only cost me $450. She's pretteh and is giving Suzy stiff competition as my best friend. Don't tell Suzy I said that, though!

I'm moving. Back to NYC. One day before the Monkeys concert. It was pretty much a last minute decision even though I've been talking about it forever. In less than two weeks, I have to find a job, an apartment, and pack everything to move.

JRFB is taking over my life! With the band signing a deal, going on tour, and with his royal hottness joining Twitter, I literally have no free time to do anything. Now that I have the laptop, I'm not working at work. I'm doing JRFB shit at work. Good thing I already gave my notice. It's not like they can fire me, right? Right?! O_O

I'm still writing and betaing. It's taking me a bit, but I am writing Chapter 31. If all goes well, and I don't hit any more snaffoos, I'll have Chapter 31, the alternate ending, and the two epis done and posted by mid-June. I know it's a ways away, but I have a o/s I have to write by May 11th for a charity compilation, and I also have the final 6 chapters of C, CD to write in Jackson's POV for another charity compilation.

So, I'm sorry about the lack of anything having to do with C, CD lately. I'm trying to do 8 gazillion things all at once. For those of you who still read C, CD and actually give a shit as to how it ends, I promise I'll get my ass in gear and get things up and running soon. You're still going to get Jackson POV updates every Monday and Thursday til Chapter 25.

Con Amor Siempre,

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Chapter 30 Teaser!

I don't even have an intro for this teaser, so here ya go:

“Hey,” he said, worry across his face. “Kelly said you were freaking out. What’s going on?”

“I can’t do this,” I mumbled.

He sighed and closed the door, leaning against it. He stared at me for a bit and then walked over, taking my face in my hands.

“Cold feet?”

“Sorta,” I sighed.

I didn’t wanna see the look of disappointment on his face, so I kept my eyes on his chest. And then I realized just how good he looked.

“Nice suit.”

“Oh, you know. Special occasion and all,” he chuckled.

His arms went around my waist, holding me in a tight hug. I automatically buried my face in his neck.

“If it’s too soon, you don’t have to do it. You can try later.”

I hugged him a little tighter, because that was exactly what I needed to hear. He was giving me the option of backing out. But when I really thought about it, I couldn’t see myself not doing it. The nerves would be there, obviously, but it’d be over quickly.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m ready now. I guess I just needed reinforcements.”

He stepped away from me and gave me a quick kiss. I smiled when he pulled away, sighing and then finally opening my eyes.

“You look beautiful, by the way,” he smirked.

“Special occasion and all,” I joked.

He chuckled and ran his hands through his hair.

“You ready?”

I jumped up and down a bit, hoping not to break my ankles with the heels I had on, shook my hands out, and cracked my neck.

“Let’s do this,” I nodded.

“Whatever you say, Rocky,” he laughed, taking my hand and leading me out.

I'm still writing the chapter, but I'm hoping to get it out on Saturday like I planned. Right now, it's a little under 9K words, but there's still a few things to include.

Tomorrow: Extra Goodies post. Saturday: Chapter 30 post.

Con Amor Siempre,

P.S. For those that may not know, I started posting Jackson's POV from Closer, Cold Desert on FFn. If you like, feel free to stroll on by and take a look HERE.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Chapter 29 Follow Up


*clears throat* Ok, I'm calm now. I'm just kidding. I'm really not. The birthday party/baby shower was a success yesterday. Booties and bottles and diapers. Oh my! Add all that to the fact that she almost gave birth late last night, and I'm pretty much wigging the fuck out. O_O

OK, to the actual post...

Like I said, I'm really sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, but, ya know... Anyway. I don't really have much to say about this chappy, to be honest.

I wanted that first week of Iris going back to the real world after everything went down to seem choppy and robotic, because that's how her mind was working. It'd go from one thought to another, one emotion to another, one memory to another in the matter of a second, so she was all over the place. I was not, by any means, going to have Iris go out and do the cliche thing of getting drunk and/or fucking some random dude to "ease the pain." She's never been that type of person. She will never be the type of person. If she did that, she'd basically be demeaning herself. SO was not gonna happen. Plus, I don't believe that bullshit. "Ease the pain?" Really? Pfffft.

I had to think really hard about how I wanted to end this chapter. It was difficult for me to write, first of all, because I wanted the dialogue to be as real as possible. I didn't want these fake declarations and big words to be thrown in there because 1. That's not Jackris and 2. People who don't really speak that way when they're having an emotionally fueled argument. Second of all, I didn't know if I wanted them to work it out. I'm all for a HEA, but, like I mentioned in the chapter, cheating is something you just come back from. In the end, though, I decided that if these two are able to work through it, then that shows how strong each person is, as well as how tough their love is.

So you know, I listened to some amazing songs while writing this chappy, so I wanted to share those with you:

Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now"
Keith Urban's "Only You Can Love Me This Way"
Bryan Adams' "Please Forgive Me"
Garth Brooks' "To Make You Feel My Love" (Adele is fabulous, but NOTHING beats this version)
Christina Aguilera's "You Lost Me"

For those interested, the phone sex outtake from Chapter 28 is available through @fandomgivesback. You can go HERE to get info on how to donate and get a compilation of o/s, poems, and outtakes from amazing authors. It benefits autism awareness, so I encourage you to donate even if you don't want the compilation.

I'll also be contributing an Edward/Bella o/s for @Fandom4Tsunami. I call him Grungeward cuz the story has to do with Nirvana, specifically Kurt. You can go HERE to find out how to donate and receive your compilation.

As I mentioned in the chapter's A/N, there are only 2 chapters left in C, CD. With that being said, there will be an alternate ending and 2 epilogues that are completely different from one another. I hope you guys can stick around long enough to see it all the way through.

Thank you for everything. <3

Con Amor Siempre,

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Chapter 29 Teaser!

Holy crow, it's been forever. Sorry about that. For those that don't follow me on Twitter, I'll explain why it's taken me so long to get this chapter up. In the meantime, here's a teaser for Chapter 29:

I started looking for my phone, and, when I couldn’t find it, I got on my hands and knees to check under the bed. I found it alright. I found it underneath the bed... where I had thrown all of the pictures I had of Jackson and I.

As I grabbed my phone, I accidentally grabbed a picture, as well. Before I knew what I was doing, I was staring at it. It was from when the band was at my parents’ house in Albuquerque, and he had just given me my autographed copy of “The Village” soundtrack. I was on him like white on rice, my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I was smiling and he was smiling and Benny who was off to the side in the background was smiling. We were all smiling. We were so happy.

And that was what sent me over the edge.

The chapter will update on Saturday. Extra Goodies post tomorrow. <3

Con Amor Siempre,

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Chapter 28 Phone Sex Outtake Teaser For FGB!

Since it's been forever and a day since I've posted anything for C, CD, I thought I'd give you a little teaser for the phone sex outtake that's going to be submitted for Fandom Gives Back.

I froze for a second, realizing that I was having phone sex and my boyfriend had just asked me to finger myself. And then I told myself I was being a gigantic jackass for worrying about something so stupid and to shut the fuck up. Because I love him. And I was horny. And so was he.

To donate to FGB and receive this outtake, along with hundreds of authors, go HERE.

I'll see you guys next weekend for a Chapter 29 update. I hope. :)

Con Amor Siempre,

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Chapter 28 Graupner POV For Fandoms4Floods!

I thought I'd give a little teaser for Graupner's POV from Chapter 28. :)

“Let’s get going. Have you seen Jackson?”

“He walked off that way about fifteen minutes ago,” I said, pointing to the backstage area.

“Go get him while I settle the tab.”

I chugged down the rest of my beer and set it on the bar top. As I walked toward the backstage area, I stopped a couple of times to take pictures with some of the fans. What should’ve been a thirty second walk ended up being ten minutes.

I walked toward the small room the venue considered a dressing room and kept an ear out in case Jackson was in one of the other rooms or in the bathroom throwing up. As I neared the dressing room door, I could blatantly hear heavy breathing and moaning.

Fucker came back here to have drunken phone sex with Iris.

I readied myself to point and laugh at him since it wouldn’t have been the first time I caught him jerking off while Iris was on the phone with him. I opened the door and stopped dead in my tracks.

Donations for the compilation are being accepted until March 30th. You can go HERE to find out how to donate and receive yours.

Con Amor Siempre,

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Chapter 28 Follow Up

You guys absolutely amaze me. The response to this chapter has been overwhelming. I didn't think you all would have such strong reactions to it, but I'm thankful that you were so emotional over it. Thank you. Really.

First, while writing the end of the chapter, I listened to Katharine McPhee's "Say Goodbye." It's an absolutely beautiful yet heartbreaking song. To me, it was perfect for the end scene. If you like, reread it while listening to this song. J says it makes it even more emotional.

Jackson cheating has been in the cards since Chapter One. It was always a part of the plotline. I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to go about it, but then I saw his change in demeanor during the 100 City Tour and knew that I had to use it. For the record, I'm not the only person who noticed the change in his stage performance during that leg of the tour. People were commenting left and right that he seemed to have changed a bit, so I knew it would be realistic if I used that a sign in this chapter.

For those that may have noticed, the Cambridge show took place on a Sunday. I moved this back to Saturday so that all of the drama could go down on a Sunday. It goes with the timeline for the next chapter.

I know I've tweeted and blogged about this already, but I'm gonna keep doing it until the month ends. I donated 25 scenes from the first 25 chapters of C, CD in Jackson POV to the @FansAgainstDV charity compilation. It ended up at 19,000 words, includes two new lemons, and gives you little insights into how Jackson went about things with Suzy, Ashley, and Iris. A surprise convo with Ryann is in there, as well. In addition to the JPOV submission, I also wrote and submitted an original o/s centered around domestic violence. Go HERE to get info and instructions on how you can donate and receive the compilation.

There will be a Graupner POV from this chapter for the @Fandoms4Floods charity compilation. It will center around Jackson's cheating. You can go HERE to find out more about when you can start donating, when to expect your compilation, and the other authors donating written work. Please remember that this charity will benefit those affected by the horrific floods in Australia. *hearts*

From the lighter side of the chappy, I'll be donating a phone sex outtake to the @fandomgivesback charity compilation that benefits autism awareness. Please go HERE to find out how you can donate, when the compilation will be released, and a list of the authors participating.

I have about a week before the Graupner POV is due so I'll be working on that first and then starting Chapter 29. Since the chappy is pretty much outlined in my head, I don't believe it'll take too long to write or post. I'll try to aim for two weeks from now, but gimme three, just in case. :P

Again, thank you so much for all of the feedback on Chapter 28. The fact that some of you raged and/or cried really means a lot to me. Kitty, I'm sorry about your chicken sandwich. Soggy is as soggy does. ;)

Con Amor Siempre,

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Chapter 28 Teaser!

Can you believe it? I said I'd try and give you this chapter within two weeks, and I actually did it. World peace is possible! ;)

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m just really tired.”

“Oh. Well, I guess I can't tell you what I need to tell to you, then.”

“No. Tell me. What’s up?”

“Um, you’re not driving right now, are you?”


“OK. Well, um... I don’t even know how to say this,” I said, my voice shaky.

“Iris, what is it?” he asked, slight panic in his voice.

“I’m... I’m pregnant.”


More silence.


“You’re pregnant?” he whispered. “Are you sure?”

“I just got back from the doctor. Blood work came out positive.”

“Are you feeling OK?”

“Yeah. No morning sickness or anything yet.”


“What are you thinking?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

“I have more news.”



“You ready?”

“Probably not.”

Don't forget that Jackson POV for the first 25 chapters of C, CD is available through the @FansAgainstDV charity fundraiser. You get 25 scenes from the first 25 chapters in his POV. There are also two new lemons in there. *waggles eyebrows* Go HERE to get more info on how you can donate and get your compilation.

Extra Goodies with the musical chapter title go up tomorrow. The chappy'll post Saturday morning.

Con Amor Siempre,

Monday, January 31, 2011

Chapter 27 Follow Up

First, lemme say I'm sorry about the weird formatting at the beginning of the chapter with the song lyrics. One of the hazards of FFn is that it likes to do whatever the fuck it wants. I can't get it to change. Lo siento.

I hope the beginning of this chapter was a bit of a surprise. Considering how I left Chapter 26, I wanted the beginning of this one to be different. I wanted her "reunion" with Jackson to be a bit more than just not having seen him in a few weeks. This was about her plans falling through, fighting with Jackson over her lying, and wallowing.

The little exchange between Jackson and Iris's dad? That was basically a "I know you're sleeping with my daughter, but I'm not gonna say anything about it right now so I'm going to reference a jail cell and hope you get what I'm really saying" sort of thing.

So, the money thing is always going to be an issue. I'll just say that now. Iris is never going to feel comfortable having people give her things. It's not in her nature to just accept them and be happy. She has to make a fuss about it because it makes her uncomfortable. What she doesn't realize is that it can sometimes hurt people's feelings. That and the lying is the source of Jackris' fight at the beginning of the chapter. It's also the reason why her parents intervened toward the end. They saw how she was when things didn't go right and then when she was with Jackson.

Jackson's nephew's name is not Jonah. I originally planned on using his real name but then thought better of it. Jonah is Suzy's brainchild, btw. It was either that or Harrison. I kinda liked Harrison more, but I let Suzy choose. LOL

The Albuquerque show actually went just as I described it. There were hardly any people there, I got to dance with Marty, and the boys got into an actual discussion with someone in the audience about red and green chile. It was awesome.

The baby talk is necessary and is the set up for something later on in the story. It's nothing big, but I just wanted you to think back to this chapter when it comes time.

For those of you who are interested in the Jackson POV I've been talking about, February 1st is when you can start donating to @FansAgainstDV to get the compilation. $10 gets you my entry (25 scenes from the first 25 chapters of C, CD in Jackson's POV) along with hundreds of other outtakes, o/s, and drabbles from people who are far more talented than I am. I haven't decided whether I'll post Jackson POV on FFn at any point. If I do, though, it will be a long ways away from now. Even so, this is an amazing cause, and I hope that you'll donate any amount you can regardless of the compilation. A lot of victims of these horrible situations will be grateful.

I've also signed up to participate in two other charity compilations. One is @Fandoms4Floods which helps the wonderful people of Australia who are dealing with the devastating floods. Because I think it'd be hilarious and quite perfect, I'm doing a Ben G POV for Chapter 28. Once Chapter 28 goes up, you'll understand why Ben G was the perfect choice. The other I signed up for is the @fandomgivesback Autism Awareness compilation. I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet for that one, whether it'll be C, CD or something different, but I'll tweet that shit out once I know.

Chapter 28 is halfway done. It's an important chapter so I'm going to be a little more careful with writing it. I'll probably go back and do ten additional edits to the five I already do. I hope to have it up within two weeks.

Thanks again for sticking with me. The few of you that haven't flounced? I owe you a year's worth of Chipotle.

Con Amor Siempre,

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Chapter 27 Teaser!

Wait. What happened to Chapter 26's teaser? Well, you already read it. Since I decided to split 25 into two parts, I decided to make part two Chapter 26. *shrug*

So, here's the teaser for Chapter 27:

“I told you I didn’t want any Christmas presents,” I huffed.

“I didn’t spend a dime on this. I swear,” he shot back. “Now open it.”

“Wait,” Jerad said.

He put down his present, and then I watched as he and Graupner put their hands over their ears.

“OK. It’s safe now,” Graupner said.

“Just a wee bit dramatic there?” I smiled.

I looked down at my present and sighed, a little upset that Jackson would get me something when I told him I didn’t want anything from him. It helped a little when he said that he hadn’t spent any money on it. And then I wondered what he could’ve gotten me that didn’t cost anything.

“Quit thinking about it, and just open it,” he laughed. “I’m pretty sure you’ll love it.”

I slowly tore open the wrapping paper, revealing a CD case. When I turned it over and realized what it really was, I screamed my head off. And then I started jumping up and down. And then I jumped on Jackson.

Extra Goodies post will be up manana. Chapter should be up on Sunday. :)

Con Amor Siempre,

Friday, January 21, 2011

FansAgainstDV Jackson POV Entry Teasers!

I still have a couple of more chapters to write and then a serious beta job to do before I submit it, but here are a couple of teasers.

This one, I tweeted a couple of nights ago and is from Chapter 12:

My dick had grown little arms and fists, trying to punch its way through my zipper.

This one I wrote about five minutes ago, and it's from Chapter 22 (The "They Finally Did It" Chappy):

Oh, shit… Oh, fuck… My dick… It can’t breathe…

Don’t fucking move. She could be in pain.

Oh, Jesus, my dick’s in heaven. Fuck, she feels good.

Remember, you can only get the entire thing, 25 scenes from 25 chapters which approximately is looking at about 20K words right now, if you donate to @FansAgainstDV. Go HERE to find out how you can do that and get this Jackson POV submission along with hundreds of others from authors who are far more talent than I am.

Con Amor Siempre,

Monday, January 10, 2011

Chapter 25, Part Two Follow Up

Mad late blog post, I know. I got to watching New Moon and then I just got distracted by the non-abs of the wolfpack and Mr You Know Who having the best line in the movie.

First off, because of some serious ego issues over at Twilighted, I'll no longer be updating there. I'm gonna pull a Forrest Gump and say that's all I'm gonna say about that.

I know I haven't replied to reviews in forever, but I'm gonna try and get to it this weekend. I haz shame.

Other than how the chapter ended, there's not really much for me to say about it. I wanted it to end on a happy note for a couple of reasons. One has to do with the opening plot line for the next chapter. The second being that Jackris has already had to do the separation thing. And, yeah, Iris is totally mildew on the inside about having to take off, but she knows that they've done this before and will have to do it again. Plus, she understands the demands of his career and blah blah blah. You get my drift.

I have the next three chapters completely written... in my head. After that, I have a general idea of how C, CD will end. The next chapter, though, will take a bit to get posted because of the FADV entry.

For those that don't know, I'm donating a Jackson POV entry for FADV. I'll take one scene from every chapter and write it in his words. Some scenes may overlap with what you've already read while others will be completely new scenes. I will say that there will be an outtake of the post-cello playing sex scene included. *wink wink nudge nudge* Again, if you donate $10, you get this entire submission along with at least 100 other entries by some amazing authors. It's a great cause and I hope you can help out. You can follow FADV on Twitter HERE and get even more info on the blog HERE.

The Hidden Star Awards are currently accepting nominations. They are one of the few awards that allow RPFs to duke it out for an award. If you feel C, CD is worthy, please head HERE and nominate it.

In case you didn't know, my ass runs a Jackson/100 Monkeys fansite on Facebook. I just recently moved it to a new URL where I have even more photos and videos than before. I'm talking like 24,000 pics and almost 600 videos. Yeah. I'm that serious about it. :P I'm currently running a contest in which you can win Monkeys merchandise. Head HERE to check out the site and head over to the "Notes" section to see how you can enter and win.

I'll update more on Twitter about when I'll have the next chapter up, as always. :)

Personal, mushy note: Thank you all for sticking with me this long. I started C, CD over a year ago, and I originally figured to have it done a long time ago, but real life's a bitch and gets in the way. For those of you that have been with me since the beginning, thank you for not flouncing. Thank you to all for continually reading and reviewing. It means a lot to me. <3

Con Amor Siempre,

Friday, January 7, 2011

Chapter 25, Part Two Teaser!

I hope it didn't take me as long as I think it took me to get this chapter out. I still have to work some on it, but I'll have it completely done by Sunday's post.

As voted, here's your #BenMuthaFuckinJohnson teaser for this chappy:

Everyone but Jerad and Kristina went out to Swingers. The atmosphere was completely relaxed, and Uncle Larry kept picking on us for having hangovers. Benny was really quiet, not unusual for him, and I casually mentioned it as I bit into a fry.

“I think you intimidate people.”

“You think so?”

“You’re very quiet and calm. Plus, the Beard Of Doom might have something to do with it.”

“Beard Of Doom?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh, yeah. I like to think Chuck Norris lives in your stache, ready to dole out punishment to those that upset you.”

“Oh, wow.”

“But you can work that to your advantage.”


“Staring contests. I’m sure you’ve never lost one,” I laughed.

Just to prove my point, I challenged him to one. Brit and Graupner did their best to make one of us fuck up, and, even though I could’ve stared at Benny for hours, the man is beautiful after all, I lost thanks to Jackson shoving fries down the back of my shirt.

“We should probably go before we’re thrown out,” I heard Papa Rathbone tell Randee.

The Extra Goodies post will be up tomorrow.

Con Amor Siempre,