Monday, August 6, 2012

Re-Posting and Outtakes

Hola, Jacksonites.

I know it's been a while since I spoke about the outtakes I had swirling around in my head, so I thought I'd let you know what's gonna happen.

As I mentioned before, I did start writing the outtakes. Outtakes, though, can only really be effective if they're fluid, if they seem like a natural extension of the story. TWIO has had me in such an E/B angst mood that the C, CD outtakes were veering into a direction that I didn't want and didn't mesh with the final epilogue. So, I've decided to kill two birds with one stone.

Starting next week (hopefully), I'll be editing and re-posting C, CD from the very beginning. I've grown a lot as an editor/beta in the past three years since the story first posted (it's been 3 years?!), and as I was going over the first few chapters recently, I wasn't happy with blatant mistakes I had made. Not only will my OCD be taken care of, but I'll be able to get back into Jackris mode.

As of right now, I have no idea how many set chapters will post a week. I'd like to think two (Wednesdays and Saturdays) considering some of those chapters are around the 17K word mark (yikes!). I'm hoping my mojo will go into overdrive and allow me to edit more than two a week, so it doesn't take me 3 months to re-post the whole story.

Does this sound kosher to everyone? Yes? No? You hope I get drop-kicked into next Tuesday?

Con Amor Siempre,

P.S. For those interested and may not have heard, there will be 3 C, CD outtakes. They'll cover what happened between For The Record (Epilogue Part One) and Always Be My Baby (Epilogue Part Two).

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Closer, Cold Desert Is Now Complete

I actually expected to have this up the day after I posted the final epi, but I underestimated the amount of promo the dude's in for Breaking Dawn. Then all hell broke loose post-premiere with videos and interviews and other media forms that had the fangirls squeeing.

C, CD's done. That's it. No more Jackris. I'm feeling the tiniest bit of emotion that it's over, but, for the most part, it's a big relief. This story wasn't meant to be this long, and it definitely shouldn't have gone on as long as it did. I originally estimated it to be 15 chapters, give or a take a couple, and I thought I would have it all done within 6 months. 30 chapters, 2 epilogues, 30 Jackson POVS, 3 outtakes, approximately 1,000 reviews later (including Twilighted), and 2 years. Yep, I'm spent.

With that being said, there are a few people I have to acknowledge:

Juanita: I told this bitch about the dreams I had, and she convinced me to turn it into a fic. That fic was C, CD. I had no idea what in the HELL I was getting myself into when I gave in. But she's been there to pre-read every chappy and lovingly nag me about getting the next chapter out when I decided to lounge and be lazy. She's awesome.

Suzy: She started off reading C, CD and then stopped, because it "weirded" her out. It may have also had something to do with the fact that she thinks I didn't write her accurately. Don't let her fool you, folks! The Suzy I wrote is the same Suzy I've loved and tolerated for the past 8 years of my life. That's my Suzy, and I'm sticking to it.

K, M, and L: For a long while, I considered these girls my best friends. We went through some fun times, as well as some serious RL shit. Some of us were authors while others of us were readers. Either way, we were friends. That, however is no longer. But, in the off chance they come across this, I want them to know some things... Despite the fact that you would gladly send me flying down a flight of stairs just to hear my bones break, I sometimes miss you, believe it or not. Despite the things you've said and done, you were special to me. Especially you, K. I thought of you as my English sister. Things went south for the stupidest of reasons, and then you became someone I didn't know you were capable of being. I didn't recognize you. I still miss the girl who used "Donut" instead of "Do not." I miss telling you about getting in trouble for blasting SN throughout the house. And knocking over my mom's furniture cuz I was twirling with scarves. So... Yeah. There's that. Either way, you three were key factors during this story, and I just wanted to thank you for that time and help you provided. I also wanted to thank you for the friendship we had. It may not have meant much to you then or mean much to you now, but it did/does/will mean a great deal to me.

Summer: You were there from the beginning and stuck with me during and after the fallout. I'll forever cherish the chair you saved for me during Comic Con. I should've never left my seat to go to the bathroom. I would've been able to join you for the Scott Pilgrim screening. But, if I have to steal a baby and sell it, I'll find a way to finance my way back to Comic Con. Cuz there's nobody I'd rather give me a "Are you fucking kidding me?" look when it comes to the possible change of your CC schedule.

Ze Lovely Readers: Some of you have been here since the beginning. Some of you joined later. A bunch of you have flounced. Regardless, the tweets and reviews were, and still are, for the most part, very sweet and amazing. I know I I dropped the ball on updating for a good while, and I'm sorry about that. There were a number of reasons, but real life got in the way a lot of the time.

Q. Will I write another fic?
A. Yes. If you look over the blog, there are tabs with fic title names. I have a general idea of what they are going to be, but I don't know when I'll get around to writing them. I have a couple of other plot bunnies invading my head, so those are on the back burner. I do have tentative outlines for them, though.

Q. Will I write another Jackson RPF?
A. No. I always said that this would be my only RPF, and I meant that. Honestly, I have no desire to write anything about him anymore which is why I was so eager to have this story done and overwith. More about that later.

Q. Am I taking on new beta jobs?
A. Not right now. I'm still betaing "With The Lights Out" for cherry_blossomz and editing a book for a well-known E/B writer *squee!* Plus, I've also been asked to pre-read the novel of a VERY well-known and respected author in the fandom. *double squee!* Between those three, the new story I have in my head, and running JRFB, I don't have the time. If you have a story you need betad, feel free to shoot it my way, and I'll do my best to find someone for you. :)

Confession: My lack of updates for the last few chapters and the epis were because 1. I didn't have the time, and 2. I'm just not into Jackson "that way" anymore. I think I got too immersed in the Jackson/Monkeys world and have come out jaded. There's always so much drama. If it's not one thing, it's another. I'm sick of the constant fighting, the name-calling, the back-stabbing... It's all just too much. While I still adore the Bone for the work he does, the music he makes with the band, and the genuine smile he doesn't use as often as he should, I don't have that giddy, schoolgirl crush thing for him anymore. And, no, this does not have to do with the recent development in his private life. For me, the lack of interest started happening, ironically, right after their latest concerts in NYC this past summer. It was eye-opening to see things going on, and the veil was lifted. I learned a lot about people and this fandom because of those two shows. To me, it's just not worth it to have that celebrity crush on him when it comes with the amount of hatred and negativity the Monkeyverse is capable of dishing out. With that being said, JRFB is a labor of love, and I will continue to own and run that puppy cuz it's my baby. I've worked too hard on it to just give up. :)

I debated with myself as to whether I should throw this little bit in there, but you guys know that I hold nothing back, so... I was originally going to write a surprise outtake that bridged the gap between Epi 1 and Epi 2. It was going to include some desk sex and the actual proposal. I wrote the first couple thousand words for it but stopped all together when I received a review that stated that C, CD's ending was cliche. I know that everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, but that doesn't make the sting hurt any less. I basically took that review as a sign that what's done is done, and I clicked "Complete" on all 3 C, CD entries on FFn. I started writing C, CD for me, but, somewhere along the line, I started writing for everyone else. If the readers don't want it, then there's no point in writing it.

*Holy Toledo, Ohio. "Cold Desert" by Kings of Leon just came on my iTunes. o.O*

So, this is me signing off for C, CD. Thank you to each and every one of you who read, reviewed, retweeted, recommended, said good things, said bad things, like me, love me, hate me, and everything in between. Writing this story and becoming emotionally attached to it were both surprises, but, in the end, even with all of the negativity, I can say that it's a great part of me. I wish I could tell you guys how much I love and appreciate you, but words fail me.

Con Amor Siempre,

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Proposal That Never Was Extra Goodies

The Tony Rich Project's "Nobody Knows"
Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful Of Sunshine"
Easy A's "Pocketful Of Sunshine" scene
Jojo's "Coming For You"
Iris' dinner dress
Iris' dinner shoes
Adele's "One And Only"
The Wedding Singer's "Grow Old With You"

Edward/Bella Recommendations
Animate Me
Heavy In Your Arms
Lack Of Color
Lust On A Deathbed
Masen Days
My Esteemed Colleague
Sentimental Journey
Unexpected Circumstances

There's a reason why I didn't include a pic of what the engagement ring looked like. I wanted you, as the reader, to imagine it for yourself. Every girl who dreams of getting married already has an idea of what their engagement ring looks like. I want that to be the ring you imagine Jackson giving Iris, because you have images of these characters in your head, so the perfect ring, your ring, should be used. Just for fun, though, THIS is the ring I have in my head.

Just for shits and giggles: Up until about a year ago, I wanted my ring to be bought at Walmart. Classy, I know, but I don't like frilly, expensive things. While I think the idea of an engagement ring is important, I don't believe that anybody should have to take a mortgage out or spend a month's pay on a ring. I've never believed that the more expensive the ring, the more the guy loves you. It's a little selfish, in my opinion.

To answer some questions: I had this dream over two years ago. At the time, obviously, nothing was known about Breaking Dawn. That's why certain things seem a little strange. Peter Jackson was the director for BD in my dream, and I didn't want to change that in the story, because I really did want him to direct. With him as director and WETA backing him, they would've done AMAZING things with Reneesme. Just look at what they did for Gollum. Also, that's why they're shooting in Vancouver on Jackson's birthday instead of Louisiana.

There's probably a bunch of other shit I'm missing, but I'll take another look when I do the Extra Goodies post for Epilogue Part 2. By the way, I have no idea when that'll be ready. I'm working on it now, but I'm going back and forth with the length.

Con Amor Siempre,

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Upcoming Posting Schedule

I'm intently trying to avoid looking at the screen as I type this cuz I kinda feel like judgey eyes are on me when it comes to the fact that I didn't update on Saturday. Still avoiding...

So, here's the deal. Part of the reason I didn't update was because I was in Jersey with The Dream Team getting drunk at Mel and Jason's shower. The other part is that I want to have some sort of chronological order with these last few chapters.

The super embarrassing chapter will update on July 16 (which coincides with the Monkeys concert in NYC I'll be attending). When I say it's embarrassing, I mean it's embarrassing for me now that I think about what's going to be in it, but I figure you guys'll get a kick and a good laugh out of it.

The final five chapters of C, CD in Jackson POV will start updating August 1st. You'll get a chapter ever Monday and Thursday, just like last time, until all five are posted.

Epilogue Part Two will post last. Now, I haven't decided if it will post the 20th or the 27th of August. The reason I'm having this post last is because, obviously, it's the very last part of C, CD. I want to be able to hit the "Complete" button once this update posts. I wouldn't be able to do that if there were any outtakes or other POVs. It wouldn't seem right.

With that being said, there will definitely be no futuretakes or outtakes or sidewaystakes or "Jackson, take me now"s once Epilogue Part Two goes up. That's it. I'm done with this puppy. It will be my one and only RPF. No more smirky dude. I think I've exhausted his character enough. That'swhatshesaid. Besides, I can't hang on to this fic forever. *shrug*

That's all for now. Sorry if the having to wait until the end of August for the story to finally come to a close is an issue, but I'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on with my life right now. I don't know if I'll be homeless in a 3 weeks, so that kinda takes precedent over everything. But I love you all for still sticking it out with me. I know I'm a pain in the ass and not easy to deal with. *snuggle huggle*

Con Amor Siempre,

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Epilogue Part One Follow Up

Wow. OK. Where do I begin?

Um, I guess I should first apologize for taking so long to post this update. I had absolutely NO idea that it would take me this long. I had every intention of updating two weeks after Chapter 30 went up, but then everything started going crazy with moving and JRFB taking up every minute of my days. But when I sat down to actually write the damn thing, a strange thing happened.

I couldn't.

I tried and wrote and erased and tried again. Nothing was coming out right. After the opening of Epilogue Part One (before it skips to April), everything was coming out a bigger mess than usual. I couldn't fucking figure out what the problem was. And then it hit me about a week ago as I was falling asleep (cuz stupid shit like that keeps me up at night). I couldn't write Chapter 31 because there was no Chapter 31 to write.

What I had originally planned for Chapter 31 is actually pretty boring. It started off with the kids talk, then the band's tour, Comic Con, and fast forward to The Southern Swing Tour where Jackson sorta but not really proposes. I say sorta not really, because there was a giant Fruit Loop in place of a ring and Vegas talk in place of a wedding. The "proposal" was something I was actually really excited about writing, though. Everything else I didn't give a shit about. So, that's how we get to the next paragraph...

Confession: What you read for part one of the Epilogue was actually going to be one of the alternate epilogues I mentioned months ago. While the "proposal" would've been nice and all, it wouldn't have been realistic. For all of the reasons Iris mentions in the chapter, there was no way that I could've included a "proposal" and wedding talk and blah blah blah without feeling like the story got away from me.

When Carrie Underwood's "Play" album dropped, I devoured it. When I heard "Someday When I Stop Loving You," I knew that this chapter was going to exist. There was never a doubt in my mind that the events that took place in it would happen. The lyrics of the song were just too perfect.

Now, as far as future posting dates and specific chapters, here's how it's gonna go: The Graupner POV outtake, which includes Jackson cheating, will post on Saturday the 25th. A secret chapter that's going to embarrass the fuck out of me is going to post the following Saturday, July 2nd. Epilogue Part Two will (hopefully) go up on July 9th. The final five chapters of Jackson POV that were submitted will start posting August 1st at the regular posting schedule as the previous Jackson POVs.

After these are finally posted, I'm done with C, CD. It's been almost two years since I started writing this story, and I honestly thought that it would take me three months AT MOST to get what I wanted out for this fic. The fucker, though, took on a life of itself. I am unbelievably grateful that you guys have stuck it out this long. I read a lot of fics, so I know what it's like to have a story take forever to update and just drag on.

So, that's it for now. As always, I'm on Twitter cuz I'm addicted like a crack whore. Hit me up there.

Oh! Just so you know, I will be responding to reviews left. However, because I'm so far behind, I'll only be answering reviews left for Chapter 28, Epilogue Part One, and Epilogue Part Two (when it posts). I feel bad saying that since I had gone into this thing thinking that I would reply to whatever reviews I garnered. So, I'm very sorry about that. It's not this "My ego has gotten big and I can no longer review reply and mingle with the little folk" sort of thing. I promise.

Now I'm done.

Con Amor Siempre,

Epilogue Part One Extra Goodies

Kenny G
Marilyn Manson
Petrificus Totalus
Mr Wizard
The Bee Gees
Dixie Chicks' "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)"
Elton John & RuPaul's "Don't Go Breakin My Heart"
Miley Cyrus' "Party In The USA"
Carrie Underwood's "Someday When I Stop Loving You"
Kellan's Calvin Klein billboard
Robert Pattinson's "Never Think"
Adele's "Someone Like You (Live)"

Edward/Bella Fic Recommendations

Inside Man
Pinky Swear (by the AMAZING Kharizzmatik, author of Emancipation Proclamation)
Portrait Of A Girl
Somewhere Only We Know
The Back Road

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Jackson POV Teasers For Fandom4SAA

So, as you guys know, the final five chapters of Closer, Cold Desert in Jackson's POV will be available through @Fandom4SAA. Here you go:

One line teaser for Chapter 26, Joy Ride Part Two:
I could have her dress up, my pants down, be in and out of her, and ready to go in under three minutes.

One line teaser for Chapter 27, All I Want For Christmas Is You:
But it was the best fucking thing to watch her cum so hard, knowing that I was the one that did that.

One line teaser for Chapter 28, Don't Forget About Us:
“I have no say in anything she does now, Ben. Do you get that? She. Fucking. Left. Me!”

Teaser for Chapter 29, HATEU:
“Jackson, what’s wrong?”

“Mama, I have something to tell you,” I mumbled.

“OK. Go on.”

“I… I cheated on Iris.”

You know those moments when everything just goes really quiet, and it feels like time has slowed down, allowing you to think about what to do next? Nobody ever told me that they also scared the living shit out of you.

All I could hear was Mama’s breathing for a few minutes. I recognized it as that breathing thing she does when she’s trying to calm herself down. I waited. And waited. When I couldn’t wait anymore, I dove in.


“You need to talk to your father,” she immediately said.

Before I could respond, I heard her calling Dad’s name.

Fuck fuck fuck.

“It’s your son,” I heard her say.


“She looks ready to spit nails. What’d you do, kid?” he laughed.

One line teaser for Chapter 30, Love Takes Time:
I know I probably should've told her, but the truth is that I actually didn't forget our anniversary.

I'm not going to include a teaser for this Saturday's update in the compilation. After you read the chapter, you'll understand why.

To get Jackson's POV for these five chapters along with hundreds of other submissions for @Fandom4SAA, go HERE to donate. The minimum is $5, and you'll be helping out a wonderful organization. Every little bit helps. Plus, if I decide to post these Jackson POVs up on FFn, it won't be for another 6 months. *nudge nudge* *wink wink*

Con Amor Siempre,